Thursday, August 18, 2011

In my new role

I applied and got accepted into a lateral position here at work. It's the same process, but now I'd be answering a different set of questions. I'm now part of the IA team in our department and I'd be ensuring that the work done by my colleagues are correct.

I've been hesitant to take it at first, or to continue to pursue it after the first interview as I soon learned that my son would become an older brother in a few months. We've been trying since June and it seems that God finally answered my prayers and requests. It would still be on Saturday when it would be truly confirmed via ultrasound but I did two tests already, once a little more than a week after my guessed ovulation day, and once again on the day I'm supposed to have my mentruation. Both resulted in positive. So I'm just waiting for the ultrasound to really confirm my current condition.

So why was I hesitant to become part of a new team? It's because while I don't experience any physical difficulties that usually accompany my condition, it's the emotional roller coaster ride I have. And it would be really comforting for me if I'm surrounded by familiar faces to whom I can just vent and rant and whatnot. I talked to my new supervisor and unit manager about this and they both told me to do what I think would be best for me. I gave it a day, the first day I reported to my new team, observed if I'd be ok, and then talked about it with J at night. I then decided to just go with it. It's good, too, that I have a friend who was accepted with me.

So far, this is my fourth day and it's been good. It would still be on Monday before I really do any auditing and I've just been practicing since Tuesday. The people here are different, too different from the team I'm used to but I'm willing to adapt. I miss my old team, tho, especially the inside jokes, the spontaneous laughter...

I'm just thinking that there's still our communicator and that we still see each other on the lockers. Thankfully, my condition is fairly easy to handle and looks like I'm coping.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Weaning from the pump... and then some

It's been a few days since I last pumped when I get home from the office. My son now drink powdered milk during the day and nurses directly from me during the night. I would have wanted to continue giving to him purely breastmilk but having changed jobs, I now don't have the luxury of time to express in the office, thus limiting my pumping break to twice before, then once, then just at home when I get back from the office, to not at all. It's quite heartbreaking, honestly, but also liberating at the same time.

Heartbreaking because I wanted to continue to give him and have him drink my milk, purely, until he is 2 years old. Liberating because now I don't have to worry if I have enough milk stocked for him when I'm away.

He's so big now, and he seems to not need me that much anymore. But then he'd do these sweet little things, like hang on to me on my back while I'm reading to him, and then he'd be giggling and laughing... or lean his cheek on my shoulder while he's bubbling with laughter... And then he'd ask for milk, like he couldn't get enough of it during the night, like he's dependent on it to getting really comfortable in bed...

I think it's just as well, since like I've said before, we're gearing and planning on having our next child. At least I know it wouldn't be so hard on him when we would, in fact, expect a little one.