When I started breastfeeding, I was amazed, and amused, at how my baby would automatically turn his head towards the breast of whoever was holding him, and reach out with his mouth for a drink. Especially when he was fussing already, obviously hungry, he'd try to latch on and suck. But now that he's older (almost six months!) and can clearly see who's carrying him, he only turns his head for a drink with me.
As a full-time working mom, I always miss Jack-Jack when I'm at work. There's a constant fear I have, that he'd be more closer to his caregiver, with whom he's with and sees all-day... Than me who he only sees early in the morning before I go to work, at night when I go home, and on weekends. He's growing up so fast and sometimes, he wouldn't immediately come to me when I get home. But then he'd give me a sweet smile and then I'd feel just a little bit of relief.
So I always look forward to bedtimes. I'd give him his bath, a light massage (to which he'd fuss by the time I'm dressing him), and then off to nighttime feeding. He'd be turning left and right, looking at me, as tho, voicing out his want, his last feed for the night before drifting off to sleep.
I cherish these moments with him, especially in the wee hours of the morning when he'd wake up a bit hungry, mouth pouting, and when he feels me turning him for the proper position, his mouth starts searching for my breast. He immediately quiets down after latching on. These moments with him at night lets me wind down from a busy day at work and focus on my little one. It lets me reconnect with him, as we both soothe each other as he nurses, letting me relax and bask in the moment, as he in turn gets his nourishment, comfort, and sleep. It eases the fear in my heart when I'm not with him, and it's like he's letting me know that he knows I'm his mommy, and that nothing can ever change that.
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