At first, I was prepared to breastfeed for at least 6 months, and then substitute with formula when baby doesn't want to nurse from me anymore. But, just as we were attending our childbirth class, I was doing my homework: googling up about natural childbirth (no anesthesia, no episiotomy, water birth, etc) and breastfeeding. We even attended a free breastfeeding class. It was right about that time that I became determined, I will nurse my son until he self-weans. And if he weans early, before reaching the one-year mark, I'll pump breastmilk for him to take.
After learning all the benefits of breastfeeding, I was more than determined. I began looking up more about breastfeeding, the effects of one's lifestyle to breastmilk, the law of supply and demand, etc. I then told J that I want to breastfeed, for as long as Jack-Jack wants to. And if he weans himself before the age of 2, I'll still pump and let him drink my milk, to optimize the benefits that he'd gain from it.
Fast forward to the present. I've been breastfeeding Jack-Jack for five months, expressing for him when I'm at work, and nursing him when I'm home. And I don't think I'd ever get tired of it (especially since I now own an electric double pump). There's some kind of satisfaction when I see him all "drunk" and "high" when and after nursing from me. Or when he turns limp and snuggles next to me after a feeding. Or when he turns his head and would lay on his side at night, instinctively searching for my nipple when he suddenly feels me curl up against him, his eyes still shut... And then he'd stop struggling. He'd latch on and continue his sleep.
It's an amazing feeling. The feeling of being needed, for nourishment, for comfort. I'll breastfeed him for as long as he wants. For as long as he, and I, need.